Body Confidence & Body Positivity
Happy Sunday! This is a very special post for me because of what it represents. It’s my blog’s birthday today, as you probably guessed by the title, and I also wanted to bring body confidence to the forefront of this post. You might remember a post I wrote a while back on learning to love yourself, as self love is so important in life for happiness and contentment, but I want to put a focus on body positivity and all the shaming that goes on. I know women get a lot of stick, but men do as well as I’ve seen that often. I’ve always been for equality for both genders, which even means sticking up for guys when women are being rude, and vice versa, no favouritism, however I have noticed lately how unfair it seems to be in this industry (or the celeb world) with a stark difference between men and women and what they’re allowed to do.
Why is it ok for a guy to post in underwear or topless, but it’s not ok for a woman to post in lingerie or slightly sexy, while being mostly covered? Where did the rule come from that women had to be ashamed of their bodies and hide them from head to toe, and if they didn’t, they were a slut? Why are magazines filled with nasty comments mocking women for gaining weight, being too thin, having cellulite, muffin top etc.? It’s so wrong. The way the world is now should be about building people up with confidence, not knocking them down and making them ashamed of what they look like. I know how much this affects people because I was one of them when I was younger.
I used to hate my body, I can read back on old journal entries from my school days and see how deluded I was. I would call myself the worst names, try and starve myself, do as much exercise as possible, at one point I got down to a size 24 in jeans and it was not good for my natural body shape. I would compare myself to magazines, people on the TV, and just constantly be unhappy, which I know so many people still do. I’ve always had hang ups about my skin, I’ve got scars and stretch marks (very common in EDS), my knees are really saggy, as are my elbows, my joints are weird, I’ve got long toes, I get muffin top, I bloat like nobody’s business… but I am me and I am proud of who I am now. If anything, I like being more unique and people need to accept that.
Everyone should be body confident. We only get one body to last us on the earth, so I don’t understand why we’re made to feel ashamed of it. Our bodies are amazing, they’re our vehicles of life, they produce life, they let us live and exist, they work in the most complex of ways, they’re truly amazing miracle vessels that shouldn’t be hated or disrespected. I don’t like the fact that people are having opinions on others and telling them they’re not allowed to show their skin. In a world that we live in now where things are becoming more and more acceptable, why is it still ok to slut shame and make judgements and be rude to someone just because they have body confidence? Or just because they decided to wear something lacy or a bodysuit? I get you’re allowed opinions, but you cannot tell someone what they can and can’t do, especially when their body is their own.
This is something that’s been irritating me lately, as you know from my previous post. My blog is 9 years old now, I’ve been sharing my photos since 2010 and I started doing lingerie shoots and collaborations in around 2013, and have done since, so it’s nothing new, it’s not for views, it’s not to gain followers. Lately I’ve started to own the fact that I am 30, I’m mature enough to appreciate my life and my body, respect it and love it, and feel proud of it and everything I have achieved with a disability, so I’ve started to wear more lace tops, bodysuits (which are trending here in the UK) and I love that. Yet for some reason, some others can’t see beyond the fact that I’m wearing lace and are criticizing it. Of course I understand there’s always haters and trolls, negative people who want to put you down to feel better, but there’s also uneducated people who are just following suit as they think it’s the right thing to do. So the point of this post is to say lets celebrate our bodies, lets be proud of our achievements, lets embrace equality for everyone and not be afraid or ashamed. I’m getting too old for this nonsense.
With that in mind, I thought this was the perfect opportunity to share with you this gorgeous red lingerie that I got from Amazon. I wouldn’t have thought it was from them if I had seen it elsewhere, and in fact I didn’t even know they had their own private label lingerie brand called Iris Lilly, but they do! So when Amazon wanted to partner with me and let me choose something from their collections, I was instantly drawn to how beautiful these two pieces are. And to be more body confident, I’ve not edited myself in any way other than enhanced the light/colours to sharpen the image. I’m keeping it real. I do pretty much all the time anyway, but this one seemed very apt to not even remove any marks if they were there, so I’ve kept my muffin tops and everything else. I am who I am. To quote The Greatest Showman: This is me! For those of you interested in this set, the bra runs true to size for UK sizing, so I took a 34DD, which is a 34D in the US, and I took a medium in the knickers. They’re incredibly affordable and it’s such a lovely set! Buy the bra here and the knickers here.
So, now that I’ve got that all off of my chest (almost literally, ha ha) what’s your take on body confidence? Or do you still think women should be made to cover up? And of course, thank you so much to all of you who have been here with me for the long journey! If you’ve followed me since 2010, or around about then, I would love to hear from you! I know most of you don’t comment and only read, but it would make my day if I could hear from you and say hi, to thank you! So just drop a small comment, it would make my day! I love you all! Have a wonderful Sunday and enjoy the week ahead. Lorna xx.
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What an inspirational post Lorna. It’s beautiful, your beautiful Thankyou for sharing x
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Thank you so much, Ali!
Hi hun what an amazing piece im a time girl and it took me ages to have the confidence to post pics x
Author
Thank you so much! I’m so glad you have the confidence now!
Congrats on the anniversary of the blog and I think your confidence shows through your words and style. My mom was a buyer for lingerie for a long time and I think you are perfection in my book. We all have flaws but you are so real and inspiring. Beautiful inside and out. Stunning – keep working your style Lorna ❤️
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That’s really kind of you, thank you so much, Frank!
In order to be irreplaceable one must always be different. You prove to everyone you are unique in your own way . All the best
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Thank you so much!
I’m just mesmerized! Now get those jeans back on before you catch cold!
Lol you look very nice Lorna.
Your friend Boo.
Author
Ha ha, I think I will be fine indoors!
I totally agree Lorna, the shaming and the like need to end. It’s so sickening. You look absolutely stunning Lorna, perfect. ☺️
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Thank you so much, John!
I total agree with you Lorna , well put . take care Ian
Author
Thank you, Ian!
Oh Lorna, I thought the forecast was for a hurricane outside home, not inside my screen.
This is so damn hot! ❤️👍
I humbly admit, I was laughing wholeheartedly for the first 2 or 3 minutes imagining how you must have shut the hypocritical mouths by showing them how confident, self-aware and mentally grown up you are. Actually not only you but Adam as well. Along with the fact that you are oozing with sex appeal off the scale. 👏👏👏
I congratulate you for the idea of this post and wish your blog further success and many more years and fans.
I mentioned about the double standards nowadays in my previous comment and I must confess I am glad that I am a man as I see how women are still treated in many aspects in the civilized world (articles, music, work, etc.)
You thanked me some time ago for being here. I’m relatively new to your blog and I was not sure whether I would even comment in a fashion blog, it looked so professional so I thought this was maybe something like a closed guru society here. Now I gladly return the favor by saying I highly respect any person who does what she/he does with talent and especially passion; I like positive people and I am glad that I have the opportunity of being here.
Steven
Author
Hopefully it did! It’s hilarious that I have lost 145 followers on Instagram so far today because of it, and it’s only been a few hours, ha ha. I guess they don’t appreciate what I am about, which I don’t want in my life anyway. I’m very thankful I have followers/readers like you, you really respect everything, pay attention, notice details, you’re the perfect reader that any blogger can ask for and I’m glad you took that chance on commenting because you can never judge a book by its cover!
You are going up so get free of the ballast like a hot air balloon. Or, as in your case the ballast got free by itself.
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Exactly! Don’t need the extra negative weight!
Congrats on 9 years of blogging!
Author
Thank you!
I think that women should be free to show their bodies when they want to and especially, that they should be proud of them rather than ashamed. It was wonderful to see this body-positive post and read your message. Thank you for sharing this.
Kathrin | Polar Bear Style
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Thank you! I am so glad you enjoyed this post!
I’m a huge body confidence person. I think everyone should feel amazing in there body. Congrats on 9 years.
http://www.amysfashionblog.com/blog-home
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They really should! I am glad you are!
let us be confident in our body because we are all created unique..loving this post dear..
https://jehanmohammad.blogspot.com/
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Thank you!
Again, I must say, nothing hotter than a georgeous girl and her blue’s!
Your friend Boo.
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Thank you!
We need more genuine and brave post like this 🙂 You are killing it, girl. You look absolutely beautiful and confident!
– Marina W
http://www.waitmarinawho.com/2019/03/whimsical-wild-thoughts-in-zaandam.html
Author
Thank you so much 🙂
Nice post dear! And happry birthday f¡to your blog! 😉
Have a great day! xx
La ilusión de Nina – http://lailusiondenina.blogspot.com/
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Thank you 🙂
That is such a cute set on you – you look fantastic! I think we should wear whatever we feel comfortable in! 🙂
Everyone is different, life would be boring if we all looked the same!
Congrats on your blogaversary too, that’s awesome you have been blogging so long!
Hope your week is going well 🙂
Away From The Blue
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Thank you so much, Mica!
You’re gorgeous, sister! Happy blog birthday!
-Ashley
Le Stylo Rouge
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Thank you!
It IS SO important to love and embrace the body we have. Heck, no one is perfect anyways!! But that’s what makes us different and wonderful.
It’s only taken my 50 years to figure this out, so obviously you are much smarter than I am.
Gorgeous lingerie, Lorna!!
XOXO
Jodie
http://www.jtouchofstyle.com
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Nooo I don’t think smart has anything to do with it, you’re incredibly smart and wise! I think it’s more the world we live in now as it’s a lot more accepting, compared to what it was not all that long ago, so that’s more likely it! Thanks, Jodie!
You look amazing in this lingerie Lorna! Yay for body confidence. Thanks for being such an inspiration.
https://www.kathrineeldridge.com
Author
Thank you so much, Kathrine!
Lots of bloggers do lingerie reviews and I find them as useful as any kind of review. We buy lingerie just as we buy clothes so there is nothing odd about that….and it is very helpful to read someone’s experience or review of a certain lingerie item and brand. This is a lovely red set and it looks great on you. You look beautiful! Speaking of lingerie comments, I have never noticed anything negative in the blogging community in terms of comments, I think other social media is more likely to be ‘judgmental’. People should not be so quick to criticize…but that is social media for you and it can’t be avoided.
I do agree that we should love our bodies. I had all kind of self-esteem problems, I still do, but I never really took it out on my body, beat myself about the way I looked or had really negative thoughts about the way my body looked or anything like that. Not that I think that I look is perfect, it is just that I’m pretty chilled about it . I suppose that to me all bodies are beautiful. Once you start doing art, you see what a fascinating thing a human body truly is….just a part of nature, and beautiful and unique as such.
Congrats on 9 years blogging btw!
https://modaodaradosti.blogspot.com/
Author
Thank you so much for that thoughtful and sweet comment, Ivana! You’re right, people are a lot nicer on blog comments as a community than they are on social media, but I have had a few mean troll comments here as well. Just depends on the person I guess. Glad to hear you are chilled and comfortable with how you look, and thank you for the birthday wishes!
It is so sad that so many young women don’t like their bodies. It is a time in life where you should! And yes women are held to a totally different standard. First women have to hate their bodies when their young, then they start to age and now this is becoming a liability in getting a job. Even men are starting to feel the effects of this. What kind of world are we living in?
But on a more positive note you look great in this set and it is soooooo pretty! Keep on keeping on and forget the haters
Allie of
http://www.allienyc.com
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Thank you so much, Allie! You’re right, we really should be loving our bodies and not judging/hating in this world we live in!
I totally agree with your thoughts and Congrats on blog anniversary. You look so hot and stunning in this red lingerie.
xo Corina
https://unbouquetdamour.com/flame-red-dress/
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Thank you so much!
LOVE this post so much!
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Thank you!
Hi Lorna
That’s one of your most powering and empowering posts. It’s so true that some like to down others or impose their ideals and choices when there not invited or wanted. As a guy I sometimes suffer through my dress sense. A lot of this is in my mind, conditioned by my upbringing and society, but also brought about by negative comments of others that I’ve either heard or read. There are times where I go about my life without a care in the world but others when I get trapped in a state of nervousness and apprehension about “what someone will think”. The thing is, and this I try to use as a mantra, what someone thinks of me is actually none of my business.
Some what of my dress style? Well, I love the “Rock Chick” look based on skinny jeans teamed with a leather cropped biker jacket so that’s how I sometimes like dress. Yes, they’re clothes originally designed for women to wear, but why shouldn’t I enjoy them too? Because that’s what “society” tells us. But society is wrong!!! Do I have a great body? No, I don’t think so. I’m reasonably slim though have struggled weight wise for the last few months. I’m certainly never going to be a model in the classic sense.
But the thing that helps me most is the people who really matter in my life. They respect, like and love me for who I am. I have friends who are full time transvestites, or gay and transsexual. I also have friends who are raving heterosexual, have kids, like music, read books, eat chocolate and drive Audis (though I’m sometimes ashamed to admit that last one!). We’re all different, but I think it’s better to accept those differences and support people. I could be wrong, but that’s the way I am. Sorry for rambling on and feel free to delete this if it’s too much for your site, I won’t be offended.
As for your pictures here, Wow!!! The way those pants sit on your hips, they really show off your sexy curves so well!!! Absolutely gorgeous!!!
Much love
James
Author
Hi James! Thank you so much for the thoughtful, heartfelt comment. I wouldn’t delete it, it’s very open, honest and raw, which is what I encourage among everyone. You’re absolutely right that people’s differences should be accepted and supported, heck I think they should be encouraged! It works among other things in life, as an example, I’m sure art or display cushions etc. are a good example. People are drawn to what’s different, unique, bright, quirky, more so than they are what’s blending in and the same as everything else. The same should go for humans. It works in the celeb industry, look at Lady Gaga. Everyone is different, even identical twins are different, so I’m glad you think that way and it’s wonderful you have such a good support system too!
Congrats for the 9 years 🙂 You look amazing!
https://www.lostindaydreams.com/
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Thank you, Olga 🙂
While I am conversant (on a low level) about fashion, I have never really felt qualified to tell someone she dresses funny; I pay attention to about a dozen fashion bloggers,and while sometimes they make similar choices, they never look alike, which tells me that there are probably factors I don’t fully understand and I should shut up already.
Besides, there was someone I used to work with that I thought was utterly gorgeous despite her ever-shifting shades of blue hair and her very distinctive muffin top. She’s 35 this year, if I remember correctly. And I’d bet she could wear that lingerie set, assuming a proper fit, though there’s no chance she’d let me see what she looks like in it.
Congratulations on the 9th.
Author
Thank you very much, Charles! You’re right, it’s all down to the details most of the time, which is what makes people look different even if they chose the same outfit!
Firstly, congratulation on your Blog’s 9th birthday. I think that’s a tremendous achievement to have created something so enduring, entertaining and inspiring. I’ve only been reading your output for less than half of that time (since early 2015, I think?) but even that amount of time has been quite a journey and has included so many great posts and looks. And, of course, you know that I’ve retrospectively taken a look at some of your posts from before I was a reader too. 🙂
I very much like what you say about owning the fact that you’re 30. I think it’s important to take that kind of attitude right through life. I’m rapidly approaching 45 (this May) which will mean owning the fact that I’ll be in the 2nd half of my 40s then. That’s fine… growing older is something to take pride in rather than waste thoughts on trying to be 18 or 20 forever. Having said that though 30 is, of course, still young. 🙂 I hope you’ll still be blogging when you’re my age and beyond. 🙂
These are terrific photos, Lorna, and your message of body confidence is such an important one. I imagine there’s hardly anyone in the world who doesn’t have some negative thoughts about aspects of their body but we are all individual and it would be terrible if we all looked the same.
This lingerie set looks lovely on you. Again, I’m quite saddened to read that outfits such as this are attracting negative comments for you. It’s just ridiculous that people take such an attitude in this day and age but I suppose that’s just how some people are. Is it mostly men or mostly women or an even mix who are taking issue against you over this? Just curious to know where the prejudice is coming from.
Author
It is often funny how we perceive age, the older we get, the younger we think others are who are below us. I know when I am 45, I will be thinking 30 is still really young, but when I’m at 30 now, it can be a bit daunting sometimes because I just feel so young in my mindset, ha ha. I feel like I’m waiting for that moment in my head where I feel like an adult, but it’s not coming!
And thank you for being here with me on such a long stretch of the journey, Steven! Your support has meant so much to me over the years as you always leave such thoughtful and lovely comments. A true reader if you will, and that’s all we ask for as bloggers!
It’s a mixture of men and women actually that complain or kick off. I’ve noticed it’s mostly men actually, the women tend to bite their tongue and just unfollow me, only a few have spoken up about how disappointing they are in me for modelling underwear (something we all wear and is essential) in order to further my career. That to me is disappointing in itself. But, it’s their own opinions, I have no right to their opinion, or no right in what they think of me, so I can just keep being me, doing what I do and love, and let the negativity fade. Nobody needs it in their lives 🙂
I’ll let you into a little secret, Lorna… I’m still waiting for that moment in my head where I feel like an adult too! 😀 LOL Does anyone ever actually reach that moment? My mum, who is 69, says that she still feels like a little girl in the presence of her dad, my grandad, who is 91. 🙂
Thank you so much for your kind words about my comments. 🙂 I’m sure you know by now how much I enjoy your blog and it’s always a pleasure to read your articles and look through your photos. I also really appreciate your friendship outside of this place and the support you’ve given to me during difficult times. 🙂
I’m not that surprised that it’s mostly men who kick off about your lingerie photos. That’s pretty much what I expected when I asked the question. I have a couple of theories as to why that is… but I’m sure you’ll have reached the same conclusion about that yourself anyway. 🙂 I’m glad that you’ll just keep on being true to yourself and posting what you want to post.
Author
Oh I am very intrigued with your theories, you will have to tell me! 🙂
And yeah, I’m beginning to realise that hardly anyone feels like an adult. I always assume they do as you meet some people who just seem so confident, together, mature, wise etc. and you really feel like they’re in charge and a proper adult, but maybe they don’t feel that way inside and it’s a persona perhaps. I feel like we’re pushed all these things in life, about turning 18 or 21 and that you’re an adult now, you have to do this and that, but nobody tells you that you wont actually have a mindset change and all of a sudden become an adult over night, ha ha!
And thank you, Steven! I appreciate the friendship too!
you are beautiful
your set suits you very well, beautiful red color
I do not like my body, I’m a little big, and I’m 1, 80 meters tall. My brother 1.90 meters, but our parents were all 2 small sizes: 1.60 meters
Author
Hi Sabrina, 1.80 meters I think is 5ft 9, so that is a good height! I know it’s taller, but so many models are tall. Karlie Kloss is 6ft 2 and she owns that! You should definitely learn to like your height as it makes you unique, and I’m so so many girls would love your long legs! Thank you for the lovely compliments xx.
I thank you, but at school was not easy.
nicknames: “the big cow”, I was a bit fat
“the GIRAFE”,
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Oh my goodness, that’s awful! Children can be so cruel!
yes 🙁 🙁 🙁
Found your website by accident. Currently in an online forum discussing the UK/US difference between arse/ass. I Googled “female arse in leather jeans” and clicked on one of the images which took me to this blog post: https://raindropsofsapphire.com/2016/04/02/my-latest-snaps-from-instagram/
Years ago, an ex who had a very sexy figure, wore leather jeans occasionally. She knew how much I loved seeing her arse in them. Seeing your own photo on the blog reminded me just how she looked and I have to say, you look stunning in your own jeans.
I’ve looked through your website and have to say that you’re beautiful. I’ve loved looking at all the photos of you in various outfits. And this particular thread, about body confidence – well I don’t know why you’ve not felt confident in the past. Your figure is gorgeous. But I understand that this particular post boosted your confidence to previously unforeseen levels and I’m not surprised. You have absolutely nothing to fear. You show what a real woman should look like.
Author
Well, thank you, Mark! That was a very long time ago that I didn’t have body confidence, a lot of women don’t, due to the pressures of society and the media, and all of these beauty products which are designed to make us different and tell us what we are isn’t good enough, so that’s how it happens. And constantly being bombarded with thinness, but time has changed since then and I’m very comfortable in my body 🙂
I hate that society and the media dictate that anything above say, a size 10 isn’t normal. You only have to look around in real life to know that it’s not the case. Keep being yourself and stick two fingers up (or the middle finger) to those who think they know better.
Thought I’d replied to this but it seems not to have gone through.
I hate how society dictates that you have to have a stereotypical size zero figure. The women you see in magazines and adverts aren’t “real” women. Real women have curves. And good for you being comfortable with yourself!